Resume tips : New grad/military vet critique please

Note: I intend on applying to finance, real estate, or similar positions in the NYC area.

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Name S. Redacted


Experience	1996–2002 United States Navy Norfolk, VA Work Center Supervisor § I was selected as the "Number One" First Class Petty Officer within my division. § I held a secret clearance during my Naval Career. § I supervised and trained personal with proven positive results. § I was awarded Navy and Marine Corp Achievement Medal twice, for leadership, teamwork and professionalism. § Known for my ability to communicate and having traveled to more than twenty countries and territories, I was routinely called upon to act as a liaison with locals. § I was promoted to E-6, Petty Officer First Class, within five and a half years. I was promoted faster then 99.5% of my peers Navy wide. § I have a proven record of being able to work independently and within a highly integrated team. § I routinely created and offered presentations to all levels of management.


Education	2003-2007 Bard College

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I've made a few changes since I posted the one from yesterday, so I thought I would update to get more accurate advice reflecting the current version. One preliminary question: how important is the objective? It seems redundent to me. The cover letter should cover which position you are applying for and why. However, if this an "absolute" industry standard, then I probably should have it.

(Address redacted)

(contact info redacted)

Name S. Redacted


Experience	1996–2002 United States Navy Norfolk, VA Work Center Supervisor § Selected as the "Number One" First Class Petty Officer within my division. § Held a secret clearance during my Naval Career. § Supervised and trained personal with proven positive results. § Awarded Navy and Marine Corp Achievement Medal twice, for leadership, teamwork and professionalism. § Known for my ability to communicate and having traveled to more than twenty countries and territories, I was routinely called upon to act as a liaison with locals. § Promoted to E-6, Petty Officer First Class, within five and a half years. I was promoted faster then 99.5% of my peers Navy wide. § A proven record of working independently and within a highly integrated team. § Routinely created and offered presentations to all levels of management.


Education	2003-2007

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Bumping this to get a response =) I would really appreciate any honest feedback.

I've made a few changes since version 1.1, so here is version 1.2

Contact info redacted

Name S. Redacted

Experience	1996–2002 United States Navy Norfolk, VA Work Center Supervisor § Selected as the "Number One" First Class Petty Officer within my division. § Held a secret clearance during my Naval Career. § Supervised and trained personal with proven positive results. § Awarded Navy and Marine Corp Achievement Medal twice, for leadership, teamwork and professionalism. § Known for my ability to communicate and having traveled to more than twenty countries and territories, I was routinely called upon to act as a liaison with locals. § Promoted to E-6, Petty Officer First Class, within five and a half years. I was promoted faster then 99.5% of my peers Navy wide. § A proven record of working independently and within a highly integrated team. § Routinely created and offered presentations to all levels of management. § Extensive research skills with four years of experience.


Education	2003-2007

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Career Tips

New grad/military vet critique please