Coping with unemployment
Is anyone else struggling to deal with the numerous issues associated with unemployment (depression, boredom, frustration, financial difficulties...just to name a few)? I'm a 32-year old man and found myself laid off on May 23, 2007. It is the first time since I was a high schooler that I have not been employed full time. I was actually working 60-70 hours a week. I can only spend so much time on my job search each week, although I try to make it at least 30-35 hours in some job search or skills improvement activity. I have also found some new hobbies and spent my time very constructively getting re-acquainted with extended family and old friends/co-workers. The latter is both for personal interaction and for networking purposes. I am receiving unemployment benefits at the maximum amount my state will pay. I was fortunate to have some emergency savings, but not as much as I wish I'd had. I decided to give up my apartment at the end of July and move back home. Fortunately, the blow was softened a little when my grandmother informed me that I was coming to live with her, not my parents (their houses are next door to one another). Grandma knew I'd probably end up killing my mother or taking a job cleaning sewers just to get out. I suppose it's my pride that's wounded, but I'm having a very difficult time coping with this move more than anything so far. I moved out on my own at 20 and managed to be financially independent since then, which is more than can be said of any of my siblings. Has anyone else dealt with any similar issues while trying to find a job? I think I'm feeling like I've had yet another setback, but the reality is that I'll have more time and energy to focus on landing a new job with the financial worries off my mind. Please share if you have any advice or similar experiences to share. I don't have any advice as I'm feeling much the same way right now. I decided to leave my last postition due to many reasons, the most of which being that I wanted to stay home with my son for a bit. I've been looking and interviewing for a couple of months now and although I've had interest, nothing has worked out. The last week and a half the depression and anxiety has hit. Money is about to run out and I'm in panic mode. I'm also getting the "I'm not good enough" feeling, which is just my own stuff coming back to haunt me, but that's what I'm feeling right now. I also have great anxiety when I think of leaving my son for work again. My husband's salary has not increased as I thought it would, he's not cooperative in many ways (again, this is just my own problem) and I'm just falling into depression. This is not the first time I've been down the depression road and I know this is the beginning and I need to do something. It's very hard to deal with being unemployed when you need and/or want to be employed. I don't have any tips other than to do what you're doing, continue to pour a lot of time into your search and keep yourself busy in other ways. I wish you the best of luck. Yeah, I' ve been dealing with them all. It has only been a week today though since I was let go from my job so I don' t know if it will pass quickly or not. If you haven' t read any of my postings, while on my 2nd interview with a car dealership this past Monday, I fell down the stairs in front of everyone in the showroom. Talk about embarrassment, not to mention the pain of the injuries (twisted ankle, bruised knees and hand). The interviewer told me that I would hear back one way or the other yesterday, but that didn' t happen. It would have been nice if they had at least called to ask how I was doing because they knew it was a bad fall - but so much for expecting consideration. I guess that' s my biggest problem - I expect too much from people. As to the living with grandma, maybe that will be a blessing to have some time with her and get to know her better as an adult. My granddaughter is 4 and I have a grandson on the way and I know that I would be happy to help them if I could. It' s only temporary, and you seem to be making good use of your time by taking up hobbies and spending time with family and friends while job hunting. It sounds pretty balanced to me. Good luck. Chin up there ! I know how it feels trust me. I went from a high level management accountant to nothing in a day after 10 years and I struggled through it like we all have. Just don' t get down on yourself - it will seep into the interviewing process whether you mean for it to or not. Just keep coming out here for support and to post progress and know that you aren' t alone. GOOD LUCK !! Sounds like you have a terrific grandmother to welcome you into her home. So you have that support too.
I wish that I had some good advice for you. I am in my 4th year of being either unemployed or underemployed. (I have had numerous part-time/temporary contracts, but nothing fulltime or permanent.) When I have found work it is usually not for more than 8-10 hours a week. I am super depressed myself, and beginning to feel that the time and money (and student loan) I had for grad school was a big waste-- feeling personally kind of worthless like nobody wants me. There are two things that I want more than anything: to do something meaningful with my time and to make enough to pay off this student loan in the next 2 years (I promised myself when I took it out that it would be paid off in 5 years after I finished school.). I am in an artistic/ design field, and the reality of it is that after 3 and a half years of resume revising, etc, there are not enough jobs out there looking for someone with my qualifications to make the search itself something that takes more than a few minutes a day. I am lucky if I put out one resume a week because although I have 22 different websites that I check for work daily, there are so few things out there that are in my field. So I find myself bored and managing to keep my hands busy but not my mind. Then I resolved to do something. I am learning to read and write in a foreign language, with the goal of being able to do a public reading in January. At least I have soemthing that occupies my mind and is giving me a goal to work toward. As far as the job search goes, it looks as though I may have to resign myself to taking a clerical job for the paycheck to pay off the student loan. I had a clerical job once before. I hated it, and I quit that job to go to grad school in a creative field because it is in the arts/ education that I do my best work. How *(&%^#ed up is that? I am going to take a clerical job so that I can pay for the student loan that paid for the education I got so that I wouldn't have to take a clerical job. You really have not had it that bad. If you want to get down read many of the Monster forums. If you have your health and youth, this is only a temporary setback. Believe me, it could be lot worse. Don't let anybody degrade you. When that happens then you loose your confidence. Whatever happens, turn this into being positive. Stay away from negative people, that hurts your depression. It is a good idea to help others, that gets you away from pity parties and your problems for awhile. Currently, I am waiting for a total knee replacement surgery on August 15. No matter how hard it gets, keep getting up. The worse thing, you could do is give up. If I give up after my surgery, my knee will become frozen and be a crippled. I had the other knee done last year, before I saw the doctor one month later, I had 120 degrees of movement, most patients don't have this at 6 months. Another thing is you never know how long your unemployment going to last. I have had my fair share with it. You could be called in the next 5 minutes for several jobs, then wait a hole month with no action. I have to hurry up and get better, so I can collect unemployment. I can only laugh about it, you can't collect unemployment if your physically or mentally unavailable. So, don't ever tell unemployment that your too depressed to find work. It is kind of hard to hide surgery for a month.
Thanks Sue. I know EXACTLY what you mean about the high level accounting position. I had just been promoted to Assistant Controller of the construction company where I worked. Then overnight I go from making about $1700 per week to getting $320 in unemployment benefits from the state. That's their maximum, regardless of your salary in the past. I have had problems with depression in the past that weren't related to work specifically, so I and my friends and family worried that I would fall right into that old pattern and get down on myself. I have fought very hard on a daily basis not get depressed- filling my time with continuing my ongoing job search as well as some new hobbies and spending more time with my family. I have realized out of this experience that I derived far too much of my self worth from my work. I defined who I am and how successful I could be by my job tittle and responsibilities and the size of my paycheck. Obviously, that isn't healthy. While some of our self esteem and pride may be based on our profession, there are many other factors that mean just as much or more. I know some stay-at-home-moms who go through this a year or two after leaving their careers. I think single people are more inclinded to be overly-focused on their jobs also. I had no wife or kids, so I worked all the time and that WAS life to me. I'm really trying to work on figuring out the other things that define me as a successful, respectable person. It's not an easy discovery. I have promised myself to at least do one thing fun once I accept a new job- do something social and/or fun every week. We'll see if I can break the 80 hour a week habit and actually find a life. On a positive noted, I have an interview in the Memphis TN area next Friday of next week. It's in the same industry, which I love, but would require moving to Memphis which I've never considered. Then again, maybe it's just wahat I need? We'll have to see but they heard about me thru a former colleague and called me twice to establish contact, so it sounds very promising. Thanks to all for sharing. In a way, it is comforting knowing I'm not alone in my feelings,. I'm just not happy that you have had to endure the same pain and struggle. As Martina McBride says, "God is great, but sometimes life ain't good" I experienced this a few years ago. I was fired from my job and was unemployed for almost a year. I took small jobs during that time but it was no where near what I needed to make ends meet. My family were so negative against me that I didn' t even tell them of my predicament. I knew all they would do is depress me even more. When I was unemployed, I spent the early morning hours looking for a job online and in the classified ads. I made a list of all the companies I wanted to work for and sent them all my resume and a cover letter. I was so desperate for a job but couldn' t secure an interview. My car was repossessed but I got that out of impound the next day. My home was two days to being sold at a foreclosure auction for $50,000 and it was worth $950,000. I took out a 401k loan and paid the back payments and late fees. But I was still out of a job! Believe me, I know your pains. I know how it feels to have only $20 in the bank and you have bills totaling $900 and the mortgage/rent is due. I know what it is like to go three days without eating food because you cannot afford it. I know the feeling of hopelessness. Luckily, I am not a drug user or alcoholic because I could see some people in my predicament committing suicide. And I know that feeling of losing your car because you didn' t make payments on it. I know you are not a loser nor a dead beat. Life sometimes takes you on a difficult journey but then you come out on the other side a better person. Hey if you are quoting Martina McBride then that' s a sing you are destined for Memphis ! lol I just moved from the Midwest and cant imagine going back to the snow and ice back there. And I never dreamed I would have ever moved from my hometown of 49 years in Illinois to Arizona either but I did it. I packed my household up and just hit the road. Leaving a lot of things behind. Nice thing about moving is that no one knows you - but that' s also the bad thing too at times. If you think its time for a change then it probably is. I always used to marvel at friends of mine that moved all the time all over the country and now I am going to stay in Arizona for maybe a year and if things aren' t right here then I know I can pack up and move again. To where I have no clue, but I can do it. Good luck again and have a great day If I were the executive director for the department of employment, I would give companies credit for hiring people like you who desire to work BUT no one will hire them. Here we have people who do not want to go on welfare (and they have every right to do so until they find a job) but are struggling. These are the people who are falling between the cracks. This is what WELFARE is for but it is being so abused. All that money goes to people who do not deserve it. If you are thinking about suicide, DON' T! That is not the answer. Seek professional help from a psychiatrist. Suicide does not solve any of your problems. It causes more problems that you think it does. Think about how it will affect your friends and family. Think about those who care about you. Revamp your resume, attend job fairs and look sharp. Then go after your dreams. I attended job fairs in four counties surround my own. Yes, it will consume gasoline BUT remember all of your expenses related to job hunting is tax deductible. | |
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Career Tips
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