Reason for leaving/explaining gapIn April of this year, my family and I decided that I would quit work to help care for my terminally ill grandfather. He required 24-hour care and someone needed to be there at all times who had the physical strength to lift him, change his bed, etc. I won' t paint the whole ugly picture, but my mom is an only child and I' m the only male grandchild. It was between me or my dad quitting work and my parents agreed to pay my living expenses/car payment so I could be his caregiver. Initially, I approached my employer about a leave of absence and they were not receptive. I considered forcing the issue based on FMLA but decided that it would only create a horrible work environment for me when I returned. I also was uncertain how long I would be on leave, so I decided to resign. I gave notice and worked three weeks in lieu of the normal two weeks to wrap up all loose ends. My grandfather passed away at the end of June, but we (my parents and I) felt I should wait for a while to return to work to help my grandmother through the grieving process. I spent the last six weeks or so trying to help her acclimate to life without him. Should I explain this in any way on my resume? My last position has an end date of 4/07 and I' m concerned what the person reviewing my resume might infer/assume. I' d like to briefly explain, in general terms, that the last four months were CHOSEN, VOLUNTARY unemployment for a very valid reason. What is the most effective way to handle this? I don' t want to raise any red flags for potential employers. Is it inappropriate to say something like "Primary caregiver for terminally ill family member, 04/07 to present"? I worry that such a statement might seem like I' m trying to make myself seem noble or morally superior. In all honesty, I also would not want to benefit (if an employer viewed me more favorably based on this) from the choice I made to care for my grandfather. Your suggestions and advice will be much appreciated. I think how you put it sounds perfect. That is the truth so I wouldnt worry about it being perceived as you trying to look noble - the fact is you made a noble choice - period. Good luck PS I think I would have gone the FMLA route myself - that is in force for a reason and you you would have had an income but too late now. When you put this in your resume, don't put it under Employment History. Create another Heading with the title Gaps in Employment History or Unemployment. Unemployment 04/07 - Present Caring for terminally ill family member Employment History: 08/99 - 04/07 A to Z Apples and Oranges Company
Also, contact your previous company and determine what they are going to say regarding your leaving. Just that you are all on the same page. The FMLA issue? FMLA is your right and whether your previous employer likes it or not, situations happen in which family members need care. I am not one to sanction going to unemployment and filing a complaint against a company, but this is serious. So, do you have any proof that your company wasn't receptive to the FMLA idea? Did you send an email or write a letter which they responded to in a negative fashion? Did you include anything in your resignation letter about "resigning my position at this time as I do not feel that you were receptive to my taking FMLA". Anyway, FMLA is a federal right and it really sticks in my craw that you did not fell you would be able to excercise that right without some backlash.
There were two reasons I didn't push the FMLA issue- 1- I was unsure how long my leave would actually be. I'd already taken two weeks over my last three months of employment, so I'd only have 10 weeks remaining under FMLA. 2- I was so exhausted at that point from juggling a 60+ hour work week and trying to spend a few nights per week at my grandparents' house (80 mile drive to work). I didn't have the energy to protest and was so angry with their response that I didn't really want to work for them anymore. I have no respect for companies who don't understand real human issues. My direct supervisor, the CFO, visited her mother once while she was on life support. The day her mother died, she was notified at 11a.m. and still worked until after 7p.m. that night. She even came in after the funeral. Their denial is documented partially in email. I asked to take a leave of absence, although couldn't specify how long it would be and explained the exact reason was to care for my grandfather. She responded (in writing) that she could not allow it because my position was so critical to the company and because of I was uncertain of how long I'd be gone. Some conversations after this happened via email, but most were face to face because I wanted to force her to look me in the eye while trying to stop me from taking care of my family. She offered a week or two (her exact words) to do my part but after that she could make no guarantees. At that point, I turned in my written resignation giving two weeks notice and stating "It is unfortunate that an agreement could not be reached to allow my unpaid leave of absence to care for my dying grandfather. Taking the time off from work for this purpose is NOT negotiable. Let this memo serve as official notice that my final day of employment with XXXXXXXXX will be xx/xx/xx." I don't want a penny from them, even if that was an option. I would like nothign more than for them to be fined or otherwise penalized by the Federal and/or State government employment authorities. Too many people are intimidated into not utilizing FMLA or are wrongly terminated when they do exercise their rights under the law. I get to go to bed at night with a clear conscience and knowing I did the right thing for me and my family. That's what really matters. | |
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