How do I address this
I had an interview yesterday. Everything went really well during the interview. ...Until one of the managers asked me what my husband does. It wasn't during the interview, just afterwards. I feel like he was just making small talk. I told him that my husband was in the Air Force. Right when I said it, I got this bad vibe. They probably wouldn't want to invest money in me if they think there is a chance that I would be leaving soon. However, with the base that we are at and the type of work my husband does, we won't be leaving unless he asks for a change. Should I let the HR manager know that the chance that we would be transferred is slim to none? If so how should I do it? I guess I could work it into my thank you letter. Any suggestions would be helpful.
Military towns are very hard to get a job in. I have lived in two military towns (both Air Force) and have had similar experiences with both. Because of the high turnover rate due to "transint families of the military" it is hard for anyone other than a permanent resident to get a good job. The only thing that you can do when the question is asked concerning your military family is to let the interviewer know that your family will not be moving to any other base because of the nature of your husband's role in the service. The interviewer wasn't really making small talk, by the way. It is a technique practiced by many interviewers in military towns to catch the applicant off guard so that an answer will be given that is closer to the "truth" than to "practiced interview answer". Mention in your thank you note that you enjoyed talking after the interview and you are sure that you will have many more discussions with her as you will be there for many years.
Yes, I guess I am a little naive in thinking that he was making small talk. In the city that we live in, nobody moves here on their on accord...you're either born here, or you're military. So of course the logical question that he asked when looking at my resume and seeing a 3 month gap in employment was "why did you move here?" I answered that question truthfully, which was that I moved here when I got married. So his next question was "Is your husband from here?" I simply said no, but he has lived here for about 3 years. I have been here two. It just really bugs me because this is a very good job, and if I get it...my husband is actually going to quit the military and we would stay here.
Most definitely address this in your thank you note, or call the fellow up and say you would like to clarify something that came up during your discussion. Then, as concisely as possible, state that due to your husband's position in the Air Force, he will not be subject to any involuntary transfers, and that he will likely leave the military once you find a permanent, career position. This does a couple things: lets him know you are not likely to up & move a few months down the road, and that you are looking for more than a job to "fill in" in the meantime. Now that the door has been opened, I think you must counteract any negative assumptions this man made. I'd actually try calling him before sending the t/u note, and even if you succeed in reaching him by phone, still briefly mention it in your note. If you cannnot speak to him, then fully address the issue in the t/u (short but enough to get the point across).
Thanks so much for the advice. I will definitely call him on Monday morning. My husband wants to get out and go back to school...but in order for him to do that I HAVE to get a better job. In the city that we live in the opportunities in my field (engineering) are few and far between. The job that I have is pretty good as far as benefits and job security, but the pay doesn't compare. I took a large paycut when we got married but that was a sacrifice that I was willing to make since he didn't have much choice. I just really don't want to lose out on this opportunity because of this.
One more thing. Should I talk to the HR Manager or the person that asked the question? The HR manager has been in contact with me quite a bit throughout this process, so I would feel really comfortable discussing this with him, but it may be more effective talking directly to the manager that brought it up.
If it were me, I'd start with the HR manager, since you've had the most contact with him. Briefly recap conversation you had with the manager who asked the question, give him the reassurances you've discussed here, and then I would ask him if he thinks you should personally contact the other manager. He may say, no, that he will relay the information, or he may tell you to go ahead and make the phone call. In this case, if you go directly to the other manager, the HR person may feel left out of the loop. If you haven't written your thank-you notes yet, by all means write them to everyone you interviewed with, and mention this issue specifically in your letter to the manager who asked the question--in addition to calling and discussing this with the HR manager. (Of course, you then can say you mentioned it in your t/u note to the other manager). Good luck! | |
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