Help! I really screwed this up...
Moreover, a few weeks after I started, about 90% of the company was sold, leaving just a handful of people from my group behind. We're now a separate company, but have none of the resources, staff, etc. that we had when we were part of the larger organization.I was definitely nervous for my own job security - a co-worker made a comment once that I should keep on my toes because I'm the "cheapest" one to lay off, since I'm new and am not entitled to severance at this point. When I addressed this with my boss, she assured me my job was safe.
Ever since I started, my boss and I have been having some pretty major problems. I find her rude, somewhat cruel and extremely volatile. I feel like she's using some shame/embarrassment tactics to get her point across, and it's so hurtful that is has, on more than 1 occassion, reduced me to tears (privately, of course). Just the other day I was berated for nearly an hour for not knowing how to perform a common task for my industry (she used a term I'd never heard - I knew how to perform the task, just had never heard it go by that particular name!).
So I got to the point where I hate going to work in the morning AND was afraid of being let go. I decided to hold out, and didn't send my resume out. But I did mention it to a friend who works at the company she and I got our start at years ago, right out of college. About a 3 weeks ago she passed my resume to a mutual friend in HR. Now, as I just started this job I know how difficult it can be to find a job. So I figured if I put some feelers out now in 6-8 months or so I would have a new job and would've put in my year at the current job. Well I got the offer on Thursday!
The position sounds like THE dream job - the job I've been looking for but couldn't find. It's by far the best of the jobs I've ever interviewed for and, moreover, I would go into it already knowing the company, the people and would have good friends on arrival. Sounded perfect. The money is the same, but the benefits are far better - they'd pay for my grad school and part of my husband's (about $100,000 total!). I was so set to march into my boss' office and resign, with some guilt but not much!
The other place gave me 1 week to decide (this was this past Thursday). The next day I get an email early in the morning from my boss asking if we can have a private meeting end of day that day. Clearly, I'm being laid off, I assumed. Well, she promoted me and gave me a small raise, about 5%.
Now what? Even though I'll probably still be very unhappy, THEY'RE happy with me and I feel bad leaving. It would've been so easy if she'd thrown a fit or yelled or something and I could've walked, but now I don't know what to do. If I don't take it and in 6 months I'm more unhappy AND I can't find another job, I'll be kicking myself. But now I at least feel more secure in the current job. Then again, if I don't accept I've probably burned a bridge at my original employer, whereas burning a bridge in what's now a no-name company with a handful of people doesn't seem as bad.
What do I do? I am so torn...I hate to let my current employer down, especially now. But the other job is so good and would be better for me and for my family. But then again, I made a commitment to my current team and it's not fair to them. Help!
Jaime, for me the decision would be a no-brainer. I would be on the phone accepting the "new" company's offer; for a measure of security, I would ask for written confirmation.
You are miserable at your current job; it does not sound as though the company can offer you the expectation of stable or secure ongoing employment. Your boss is a b-word.
You have friends at company B; are they happy? Is it a stable organization? If it is "the best of the jobs" you have ever interviewed for, GO FOR IT.
Without knowing your age, I am guessing you are relatively young; let go of any notion that you owe your current employer any "loyalty," you have to look out for #1, nobody else will. If they are like most employers these days, they don't really care, and if you misstep, they will turn on you in a heartbeat and dump you like yesterday's garbage. Don't give them the chance! Take the new job, enjoy working with friends and the additional benefits, be happy!
The voice of experience, unfortunately........
The company where you are is in severe turmoil. They've been sold/bought out and no matter what your boss promises you, your boss is not in control of whether you stay or go. Chances are good your boss's job is on the line as well since they're shaking out who will stay and how things will run.
Pack up your puppies and run, do not walk, to the other job. Where you are is not going to get better anytime soon and the dream job is calling. Take it. The company you're at got along for years without you, they'll replace you in a week and move on. Your team members will get over it.
Tess
Thanks for the input. What should I say if/when I resign? Obviously, I want to minimize the anger and discomfort for the 1-2 weeks I'm still there from the time I give notice. I know it won't be well received, but should I simply say the position wasn't right for me, etc? I don't want to site the buy out, as we're constantly being told that this WILL NOT change our jobs - though, I agree, this isn't a guarantee by any means, I'd rather not open that can of worms if I don't have to.
My husband is a full-time, non-working student and, as I mentioned, I'm pursuing a graduate degree as well. I was considering playing the sole breadwinner/student card - it's 100% true, but seems less a slap in the face. I know it shouldn't matter, but I share an office with my boss and I just can't stomach the idea of going to work for 2 or even 3 more weeks and it being hellish.
Thanks for the great advice.
You have no obligation to give them any reason, just the customary 2 weeks notice. If you feel it is necessary, tell them you received an offer that after careful consideration you could not afford to pass up. Many employers will not want or expect you to continue working during the 2 weeks. It isn't personal, they often prefer that a "lame duck" employee just leave.
Do not do anything until you have the new job offer locked in!
Jaime, I agree with the other posters that you should accept the new job.
As for what to tell your present employer, take your pick:
1. This new job is more in line with my career plan.
2. The new job has more opportunity for career growth/development.
3. The new job is a shorter commute.
4. It's an opportunity I just can't pass up.
You don't need to give them lots of reasons for going, and you certainly don't need to feel guilty. They would drop you like a hot potato if it suited them.
Take the new job and be happy!
WB
Also, start taking your personal things home, and be ready to leave when you give notice. Your boss sounds like the kind of person who will be angry no matter what you say, and will probably tell you to pack up and leave that day. Get a head start on it so you have less to carry out on your last day.
Good luck! Let us know how it all goes.
WB
You care way too much about what other people think of you. It is a fault of many women, especially before they hit into their 30's. Not sure if you're in that age range or not, but you need to build your confidence. I'm not saying to blow off anyone and everyone, but you also can't please everyone in life and you have to accept that. You've only known this employer 5 months and you're willing to stay put even though it would be a bad situation for you and your family just because you're afraid that they'll be cranky when you leave. You're going too much to that side.
So, you make an appointment with your boss and go in with letter in hand. When you talk to your boss you say:
"Bob, I know this is bad timing with everything that's been going on but I've unexpectedly received a really terrific offer that I just have to accept. I really appreciate all your (something nice here). My last day of work will be (2 weeks from today). Here's my written resignation. Thanks." Hand it over and leave.
Do not get into any kind of counter offer, how could you do this or whatever. Hold firm with "I'm sorry, the decision is made".
Then your letter says:
Per our conversation of (date), please consider this my formal resignation. My last day of work will be (date). (you can add something nice about how much you've learned from them or appreciate them here if you want or just leave it at that).
Tess
Hi,
Make sure you actually have the new job, something in writing would be nice. Then, get the heck out of there as fast as possible. The boss that treated you so badly won't change, you'll be miserable if you stay! Hope everything works out for the best, good luck!
tb:)