Career tips : This one takes the cake seriously!

I should write a book...anyway here's a great story and would love any insight, feedback, etc.

I was laid off in 2002, finally found my dream job after 1.5 years, 2000 miles away. Was very happy, but face it after three years it's time for a change. I noted a need for a position in a group that appealed to me, and the VP heading it is/was a big supporter. I pitched it to him. He bought it, and asked for help writing the job description. I did, and it was posted. He wouldn't talk to me without my manager's permission, which was fine. I told her I needed a change. She wasn't happy to lose me, but agreed to support me.

After all that, he hired someone else from outside the company. I was quite gracious because the guy WAS more qualified even though without me the position wouldn't exist. VP said, well your current team is growing and there's a great chance you'll get a promotion.

So then current boss says, well I have two new positions open, both are promotions. Three internal candidates - one qualified, the other one is more "flash" than substance and colleagues hate her, but she presents well. All sorts of rumors going around, etc. Before I go in for my interview I have in hand a document wherein Ms. Empty Suit actually presents herself as the person with the new promotion. So forgive me for thinking the decision was already made. The second candidate was already at the level, and I suspect his job was being eliminated.

Of course I kept all this to myself throughout the process.

So guess who's odd man out again?

When I met with current manager to hear the word, I told her I pretty much already knew and had known. She was very unhappy and expressed sorrow that I'd been subjected to people saying those things to me as she'd only just made decision and it was tough. Of course that brought tears to my eyes...ugh. Of all the unprofessional things to do. She wanted to know who told me about the appointments and I couldn't tell her it was Ms. Empty Suit herself....even if she WAS making it up, who knew?

So, net net I now have to deal with Ms. Empty Suit's haughtiness, while working for a very nice guy who I like ok, knowing that according to everyone around me I was the leading candidate for two great jobs, and somehow I ended up empty-handed. Current manager told me it was very hard decision but that she felt I needed to have more leadership presence. It's very sad that in reality I am the defacto "go - to" person who the team comes to when she's not available...and for the world I couldn't tell her that. I also couldn't tell her that she gave off many small signals the past two weeks that she was looking to find fault with me, after for the past three years giving me the maximum raise plus and additional elective bonus for over-achievers.

I think my company and I have come to the parting of the ways because I have worked very hard and made them a lot of money, and I think they could have been more above-board with me.

What would you guys do?

You could take this one of two ways;

First way is that your manager gave you a very real signal that you still were not ready for a management role with her comment that you needed more "leadership presence". You could ask what that means, exactly.

Being the go to person at your level needs to translate for her. She needs to see this in action and needs to rely upon this.

Or you could take this as a clear signal that it is time to part ways.

Start looking--quietly--for a new job at another company.

If they really wanted you to move up in the organization, they would do it.

Once you find a better job, give notice, and leave.

Review and analyze what happened. First you made a move to improve your lot, you sold the idea but lost the job. This happens sometimes, and is more of the fault of the leadership that they don' t reward this type of initiative. But given that you did that, and went through the process you showed signs that you weren' t completely happy with your position in your managers organization. When she must have taken that in to account when she gave out the promotions.

Worst of all the people have you pegged as being a great x (whatever your job is). They see you as competent in able in that position, but nothing more. Your not going anywhere if its up to them. Wether it' s your demeanor, dress, or even competency in that job, they feel comfortable with you there. If you want to advance or do something different this organization is not the place to be.

Looking for another job is the best advice. As far as the comment that you need more ' management presence' that' s a bad sign. A lot of organizations are run by some version of "whoever yells the loudest". What they really mean when they say this is that they aren' t in control of the organization in the first place and can' t empower you to manage anything. The result is, the only way to move up is to take over and push others out of the way. If that' s not your style, you don' t want to stay there.

I hate to say it but - sour grapes. For what ever reason management thinks the other candidates are better qualified. Look to the skills those candidates have or "present". Either choice you make stay or go, it sounds as if you need some areas of improvement. No one likes to hear they need to improve, but we need it on some level. I would also hazard a guess that from the tone of your post your attitude is showing at work whether or not you think it is. From that point I would suggest moving on to a new start.

I aree with the others who said it's time to go. They most likely didn't promote you because you're good at what you're doing now, and they didn't want to make the effort to replace you when they had used you for 3 years. The ironic thing is, they'll have to replace you anyway. Why is management so stupid?

But I'm very curious: when your boss asked how you found out, why didn't you tell her that you found out from Ms Empty Suit? Why did you protect her? I'd have told the boss. In fact I'd have marched right into her office and asked why she was going through the motions of interviewing me since the position had been filled.

Stop protecting people. She deserved to be found out. And I wouldn't be too quick to help the company after you leave, either. A couple of calls in the first week, OK; after that, you're letting them continue to use you. Don't be defiant or nasty, just get caller ID and don't return their calls. Move on.

You could be right and I am trying very hard not to be bitter. But in March, or early April, I got a stellar review with the maximum allowable raise. No red flags whatsoever. Then, after I'd applied for the first job she started finding fault with me....this barely three weeks later. IMaybe she was looking for reasons not to give me the job or steeling herself for telling me no because the decision was made by the big boss and she couldn't admit that.

I have no problem with constructive criticism, as long as management is willing to tell me what I need to do to get to the next stage (hasn't happened although I've asked). It's not just me.

I should also mention that people are expressing shock and outrage to me...my response is that I like my new boss and am excited about the future.

Anyway, I work at a big company and have numerous connections at other companies we do business with, so I am sure I can find something. I think what I mourn the most is the apparent break with my former manager, who I really liked and looked up to.

Career Tips

This one takes the cake seriously!