The last thing I do....
Dipping back in momentarily for an unusual request. For the past few years my health has been deteriorating although I thought I was a healthy 27 year old. First, it was just "sciatica" then back pain, knee pain, and other things that seem normal for some. More recently these symptoms have gotten to the point where I cannot walk very well or for more than a 1/2 hour, my hips are killing me, my knees as well, there is a lump in my spine (and there is pain radiating from my spine also). I knew for some time that I have a condition known as MHE (Multiple Hereditary Exostosis) 2 of them on my right knee, but my entire body is wraught with pain. All MRIs, X-rays, etc have shown nothing abnormal, of course, except for the exostoses (plural) on my right knee). There is no indication of any spread. I began doing some researching on the internet about joint pain, (without injuries) and one of the thing that came up was Leukemia. After some extensive research and cataloguing I decided to look for certain things (along with my doctor) to show up in my CBC (Complete Blood Count) and other diagnostics. Lo and behold, my white blood cell count is abnormally low (3.71 with the norm being approx. 4.0-10). Liver enzymes abnormal also. I will see a hematologist next week, and although I' m sure people will say "think positive" "hope for the best" "Leukemia (if you do have it) is treatable" I know what time it is. I have known this for some time, even without the exams. What' s my point here? Well, I have mentioned (quite often) a book that I was trying to publish, tentatively entitled "The Plague of My Heart and the Silence of Conquest" About overcoming underachievement, viewing "success" in the right way, and fining one' s way as a young adult. I realize that I may never finish. I am not working at present but have interviewed with some firms (Morgan Stanley, E-Trade, etc), but nothing has materialized as of yet. So, I wanted to get some suggestions on how I could get this project finished with zero funds and limited time. To be honest, I was going to do a "Save Screech' s House" move, but that seems a little undignified. I wanted to self publish and have an action plan. This still requires funds. I hoped to leave whatever profits to my family, but if nothing else SOMETHING to show for my few years in the wilderness. This is actually the whole theme (and reason) for my book. Any suggestions are appreciated.
"Disclaimer" of sorts: Please understand that I' m not looking for medical advice, analysis, or "hope" For example I know that AA' s wbc is lower than other races, (their average is 5.74, mine is 3.7) and I know that if I am diagnosed with Leukemia it is treatable, and that there could be other things causing my hip and joint pain and low wbc (Leukopenia) other than Leukemia (though very few when considring my other symptoms and medical history with my physician). What I am looking for are ideas on how to obtain necessary funds (in addition to WORK ING, of course) for this project that very well may be up against a "deadline" (no pun intended). Interesting. I went into one of those "Fly by Night" Walk-In clinics to just get a regular physical, get a normal routine bloodwork done, etc. Well, turns out they did some wierd blood work analysis "not a smack 32", but basically an analysis I did not need. I basically go the analysis I did not want. Well, at any rate, the walk-in clinic Doctor said, that I was pretty CLOSE to the border...like 3.9 (just shy under 4.0). And the Doctor asked me if I felt any kind of tiredness, pain,e tc.. Personally, I feel fine, regardless of my WBC, she was like "Hm, since you' ve been feeling fine, your WBC could be a ' false positive' , so we might run it agian. FIrst of all, I don' t trust certain doctors (esp walk-in clinic Doctors, because apparently they are the "Convenient stores" of the health industry not really "white-collar" i fyou know what I mean) Anyhow, I never did follow-up with the WBC, and decided to search out an actual GP, but righ tnow, I' m unemployed so it doesn' t matter. But, I was wondering if I have that kind of WBC, and I feel fine (age 35), figured if it aint broke don' t fix it. Anyhow, I researched the WBC thing, and apparently can be more than just symptoms of Luekemia, it can be as far as that or just not eating right....which is true, I don' t think I"ve been eating too many "Greens" or "Fruits" as of late. More of a meat and potatos guy, lol It can just be malnurishment. However, you seem to have other issues like your joint pain...and your inability to really do things. But I guess you' re tracing those as symptoms of Luekemia? Of course, that' s the first time in my life I had a WBC check. It could have been that way forever, who knows. But I pretty much feel fine, so I doubt if it' s Leukemia. Why focus on self-publishing and the need for funds? Why not pitch it to publishers? Yes, it may take a lot of them to hit one that will do it, but hey, so what? Most publishers have writing guidelines on their websites, they want an outline of the whole thing, plus a couple of chapters (or more) to see where it is going. Do a little research into who publishes the sort of stuff this book would be. Look up literary agents in your area and see if one will take this on and run it around town for you. Good luck on the book and the diagnosis! And if it helps any, I know you' ve done all the research and all and are sure this is where this is headed, but there are lots of other possibilities. I' ve had what is officially known as "knee pain of unknown origin" for over 20 years now. It isn' t this, isn' t that, isn' t the other, it just is. Some of us are just medical oddities that defy explanation! So, here' s hoping it is just one of those weirdnesses and not something more serious! I apologize for posting that (I could not delete, but ask that it be deleted). This is why I asked for no analysis: About-Leukemia.com: "Althoughmany people associate leukemia with excessive numbers of WBCs, low white blood cell count may also be an indicator of cancer depending onthe differential blood count" Sloan Kettering: "Those with acute leukemia may have abnormally high or low white bloodcell counts, while those with chronic forms of the disease always have abnormally high counts." On one forum I visited many diagnosed with various forms have reported low wbc at time of diagnosis and they were also surprised. In any case, This whole post was a mistake. I will go back from where I came. I guess if you doubt it, don' t do it. (Now I know). Self publishing is part of the main objective of the book: To accomplish something worthwhile in a non-traditional way. That' s the essence of the whole thing. Not handing it over for someone else to do, but to finally have something to show for myself. No other replies necessary.
I want to apologize again for dropping TMI on this board (though I appreciate it being posted and not deleted instantly). Dying is not an issue. It' s dying with unfinished business that' s my vent. Never die with a book in ya! I' ll get it done. Again, forgive me for posting what sounds like a Nigerian e-mail scam. When in doubt, leave it out. If you think you might regret it----forget it. I didn' t do that, so, I feel dumb having posted that. Anyways, best wishes to all and if it does get out there then you will know (I know I sound contradictory with the "If" as opposed to "I will" and that is intentional) . | |
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