Fired!
I was recently "let go" by my former employer for losing my temper at work. I did not lose my temper with my fellow workers, only with my wife while I was on the phone with her. And, this wasn' t the first time it happened, it was the third, and three strikes and I' m out. I was working 2nd shift for about 9 years for my former employer. When my employer let me go, they said that if any other company calls there, all they are allowed to say was that I was a former employee and the years I worked there. Now, here' s the kicker, what do I say in an interview if they asked me why I no longer work for my former employer? Has anybody faced other situations where they had to come up with a unique "excuse" as to why they were fired? I' ll be looking for answers.
I would try something along the lines of: I was fired because I didn' t keep my personal life from interfering with work. I have learned a huge lesson from this and will never allow myself to bring issues from home to the workplace. If they press you on it, then you might have to go to: I was having some difficulties with my wife that resulted in some heated arguments on the phone while I was at work. I have since begun counseling to work things out and to learn how to keep issues like this out of the workplace and at home where they belong. That assumes of course that you do sign up for something. Anger management might be a good start. Couples counseling would be another way to go. Or just any counseling. Ask your doctor for a referral or check your local health department for low cost resources for things like this. If you belong to a church that' s a good resource too. You shouldn' t be having such a hissy with your wife (especially 3 times) that it gets you into trouble at work. That' s not normal and you need to fix something. To lose your temper at work during a personal phone conversation once is one thing--to do it three times, knowing your company has a "three times, you' re out" policy" is entirely different. Unless your wife is pregnant and suffering from pregnancy-induced craziness, there' s no excuse for this. Get into therapy yesterday, if not sooner, with or without your wife, and figure out how to keep your personal life from interfering from your job to this extent. Hey, we all have days when our personal lives affect our work, but certainly not to the extent where our jobs are jeopardized. And don' t say "I can' t help it." You can, and you need to. I' ve known way too many people who use the cop outs: "I can' t help how I feel, I have a bad temper and can' t control it, My wife made me so mad I lost my temper and yelled--it' s her fault." While you can' t help how you "feel," you can help how you behave, and you can learn to put a new perspective on your feelings so you can more effectively cope with them.
I' d say I was laid off. I' d also let the IHR toad at the former employer that if he breaths a discourging word to any prosepctive employe, I' d lose my temper again, and I don' t like him as much as I do my wife. Remind him you know where he lives. Offer him a old fashioned, Roy D Mercer a $$ whup' in. Maybe you could even get Roy to call him up on the radio. My wife suffers from an anxiety condition that, for some reason, pushes my buttons. My wife and I have gone to counseling together recently. I, too, need an anger management class, or some type of therapy sessions. I guess the bright side is that I get to do something different now, and on first shift. It' s tempting to lie about a situation like this, but it is always the wrong thing to do. You are going to find that hiring managers are more understanding than you think, as a rule, as long as they can see you' re sincere and serious and not looking for rationalizations or excuses to explain bad behavior. This type of thing was commonplace, more or less, when I worked for eleven years at Pratt and Whitney-Florida before the layoff of June 1993. We would be yelling on the phone to impossible kids of all ages who were giving us a hard time despite the fact that we were at work. I lost my temper a number of times but when I saw my supervisor with a serious and grim look on his face walking slowly towards me (like a cat who was going into attack mode), that was the end of my ranting on the phone. I even told my daughter that she was going to be responsible for my dismissal and she understood and I told her that she was not to call me again on the phone unless it was a life or death emergency. Other mothers had the same problems with their kids on the phone; we talked about this. Don' t worry. Your honesty and self awareness is going to pay off. Everything happens for a reason and if your marriage is better now, it was worth it. We change jobs often these days but changing marriage partners is problematic and certainly not a solution for our issues.
I'd say, somebody who loses his temper with his wife over the phone is someone who ought to be worrying about what ELSE he's going to lose other than his job ... I think taking personal calls on the job is a no-no and this is the prime example as to why. Your job is not the place to have an argument with the spouse, partner or kids. Personal life stays at home, just as one should leave the office life at the office and not bring it home to take out on the kids. I would never tell my kid that I would blame them for losing my job. That' s ludicrous and immature. I would do the classic mama stance and say "wait til I get home," and hang up. Kids don' t run things, adults do. The sooner the kids are educated on that, the easier their lives in my house will be. | |
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