Judge My Cover Letter
I just recently worked another temporary four days at the same convention center site I worked last May. Today I thought of something to add along with the additional work history. The value of not wasting my time or an employer's time.
This is my cover letter :
As stated in the curriculum vitae, I am experienced in most forms of computer technology electronics, from hardware devices like printed circuit boards, internal interface devices i.e. sound and memory cards, most networking devices like line cables, ports, male and female connectivity devices. Familiar with peripheral devices like CD-Recordable and Rewrite drives, having owned one myself previously for uploading various pieces of video content. Though not a certified expert I am able to effectively use Windows software, packages including MS Word, Excel, Outlook, Adobe, Photoshop, Macromedia as well as Linux/Unix. With certain digital software templates I can reshape, change, embed invert or superimpose colors, text or any material created whether simple or complex, as well with certain headers taken off web pages. I can touchup scanned photographs or pictures shot directly.
Personally, I’ve written various materials in the form of daily poems, literary passages, and non-professional opinion pieces over various discussion forums. Although incomplete, currently writing a manuscript novel with intermittent and unique personal attributes to a traditional autobiography. Other video content produced, is available on certain websites.
Although I do not have a degree or certificate of skill and experience, I can demonstrate by using your equipment or presenting a variety of work that is posted over the internet, I can also send samples via electronic mail, interested in any and all employment opportunities large or small, technical or otherwise.
The two most recent positions worked were at ( convention center events named ) , from May 7 through May 9, as well as August 18 through 21. Having also been a security officer, I can and have performed customer service duties, assist, and clerk, stock or perform varying light office or other tasks for a competitive salary $12.00 or better. In my last employment positions as business forum assistant and information line monitor my duties were to unload various corporate materials from shipping packages and place on display, inside particular lecturing rooms, responsible for digitally cataloging arriving attendees with digital scanners. As a line monitor, my duties were displaying convention information to arriving attendees and directing patrons to assigned locations throughout the convention’s event.
As a prospective employer, I ask you to consider everything in terms of work, skill, experience, and history. In contacting you, I am mindful of which jobs I would be unable to perform at the required level of acceptance. Time is better spent, not wasted.
I am available for an interview at any time most convenient to your schedule and as listed atop my resume’, both methods of contact are provided; e-mail address (preferred) and cell phone number between the hours of 9 and 6 PM weekdays.
Thank You.
xttwo
___________________________________________________________________________________
Now having typed all that, I just don't get what employers are missing that ( all too often ) appears to be flying over their head. In this cover letter you see multiple things. You see the fact that I can do a lot of things with computers, what does that mean? To an employer it should tell themselves these things :
Ok, I can put this guy in my office to work on, or assist others with work, he has the ability right there.
It's much too long and too wordy and you sound pompous! That letter will put the reader to sleep and he will not want to wake up - guaranteed! If you want to kill off potential employers - that letter is a great tool and will do the job!
The letter also reflects your anger, contempt, and dissatisfaction with employers. They will notice that right away and toss the letter in the garbage where it belongs. You also sound overanxious and desperate which will not help you at all!
Time wasting on both sides is part of the game. It happens all the time. It's foolish to get angry and stressed out about this. Your time will continue to be wasted. The potential employer's time will continue to be wasted too! That is just how it is.
However, "time wasting" when it comes to doing job searching is really not wasting time at all when you stop and think of this rationally and not emotionally. The time you spend on serious job searching using the best methods at your disposal is really time well spent. When you go on interviews, you are not really wasting your time. You are finding out about a real job opportunity and are honing your interviewing skills at the same time. You are getting better at interviewing even though you may not get an offer. While you're on interviews, you always have a chance to get an offer you cannot refuse, so you are really not wasting your time. When you are not interviewing, you have no chance at getting a job offer or employment. Never consider a worthwhile activity a waste of time regardless of what the activity is. If it's productive and can actually improve your life, it's not a waste of time.
Your time is valuable and so is everyone's time but a certain amount of time is going to be waste in everyone's life. Deal with it and do not let that bother you so much!
If they want to keep running ads in the paper or online because they cannot make up their minds or do not know what they really want - it's none of your business. They can do exactly what they want, when they want, and how they want! So can you!
You should go to the Forum for Cover Letters (not sure of the exact name) and ask them for their opinions and suggestions. Most of them will not know who you are or your history. You may get some excellent feedback which you should accept:
http://monster.prospero.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?webtag=mstcoverletter
You do not have to always post on this Forum unless you feel like arguing with the usual respondents! If you are really serious about having a career or job, go to the other Forums for tips, hints, suggestions, and whatever you need! Then - do what they recommend if you really want positive results!
Employers have SPECIFIC requirements and want specific computer software expertise and experience. They have a specific job description and they want candidates who can handle the duties they want them to perform and they prefer experience usually or college degrees or certificates from technical schools. They usually want it all, but we are what we are and pretense and overselling ourselves does not work. They have seen it all and are more savvy than we give them credit for. There are many people like you, xttwo! You are not unique!
They are looking for the content in cover letters and resumes to match their requirements and job descriptions as closely as possible. They do not care about computer software that you would not be using if you worked for them. They are also not terribly interested in your hobbies and creative abilities unless they're very relevant to their requirements.
You need to understand once and for all that your cover letter and resume should contain just enough information to entice them to call you for an interview. The selling strategies take place at the interview where they are appropriate. They sell you the job and you sell them yourself! That's the way the game is played, it has always been played that way, and will continue to be played that way!
Good luck!
Bunzo
First, who will be receiving your letter? If it is someone in HR or a non technical person, that first paragraph will be hitting a rock.
Is the second paragraph really necessary? I would say no unless you are applying for a job writing technical manuals or other writing intensive work.
Although I do not have a degree or certificate of skill and experience
Never put in a negative! Emphasize your positives and let them find out the negatives later once you have them interested!
As a prospective employer, I ask you to consider everything in terms of work, skill, experience, and history. In contacting you, I am mindful of which jobs I would be unable to perform at the required level of acceptance. Time is better spent, not wasted.
This will likely offend the reader.
Overall, your letter should be more specific, that is geared to the opening. The information you have in your letter is best put on a resume.
I hope this helps. Good luck!
It's way too long, with too much verbiage, and not enough substance. Say more with less.
Also, FYI, Adobe is the company that creates/produces programs like Photoshop, Illustrator, Reader, etc...it's not an actual program that you're proficient in.
I just don't get what employers are missing that (all too often ) appears to be flying over their head.
I'd wager that employers aren't missing a thing here.
In this cover letter you see multiple things.
Agreed. What I would see as a hiring manager is:
- You're an amateur computer geek with no formal training, education or certification.
- You've got an over-inflated sense of your own importance and even if I were willing to take on an amateur computer geek with no formal training, education or certification, I'd be letting myself in for your attitude which comes screaming through your cover letter. That attitude starts with "As stated in the curriculum vitae" (which by the way is a pompous and over-inflated choice of wording unless you're applying for jobs in Europe or at a university), and continues until your last sentence of "e-mail address (preferred) and cell phone number between the hours of 9 and 6 PM weekdays." (which comes across as though I need to be sure that I meet YOUR conditions for contacting you).
So, assuming you're serious about any of this, I recommend you rethink your approach.
Tess
As stated in the curriculum vitae, I am an experienced user of in most forms of computer technology and electronics., from hardware devices like printed circuit boards, internal interface devices i.e. sound and memory cards, most networking devices like line cables, ports, male and female connectivity devices. I am also Ffamiliar with peripheral devices and the set-up of small local networks.like CD-Recordable and Rewrite drives, having owned one myself previously for uploading various pieces of video content. Though not a certified expert I am able to effectively use Linux / Unix, and Windows operating system,software, packages as well as the following productivity products including MS Word, Excel, Outlook, Adobe, Photoshop, and Macromedia as well as Linux/Unix. With certain digital software templates I can reshape, change, embed invert or superimpose colors, text or any material created whether simple or complex, as well with certain headers taken off web pages. I can touchup scanned photographs or pictures shot directly. I believe that these skills and capabilities provide a strong foundation for me to build upon and will allow me to quickly learn any new skills necessary to make me an invaluable part of your team.
Personally, I’ve written various materials in the form of daily poems, literary passages, and non-professional opinion pieces over various discussion forums. Although incomplete, currently writing a manuscript novel with intermittent and unique personal attributes to a traditional autobiography. Other video content produced, is available on certain websites.
Although I do not have a degree or certificate of skill and experience, I can demonstrate by using your equipment or presenting a variety of work that is posted over the internet, I can also send samples via electronic mail, interested in any and all employment opportunities large or small, technical or otherwise.
The two most recent positions worked were at ( convention center events named ) , from May 7 through May 9, as well as August 18 through 21. Having also been a security officer, I can and have performed customer service duties, assist, and clerk, stock or perform varying light office or other tasks for a competitive salary $12.00 or better. In my last employment positions as business forum assistant and information line monitor my duties were to unload various corporate materials from shipping packages and place on display, inside particular lecturing rooms, responsible for digitally cataloging arriving attendees with digital scanners. As a line monitor, my duties were displaying convention information to arriving attendees and directing patrons to assigned locations throughout the convention’s event.
As a prospective employer, I ask you to consider everything in terms of work, skill, experience, and history. In contacting you, I am mindful of which jobs I would be unable to perform at the required level of acceptance. Time is better spent, not wasted.
In previous positions I have been responsible for and demonstrated capability in a variety of duties including customer service, light office support, security, and light industrial assembly.
I am available for an interview at any time most convenient to your schedule and as listed atop my resume’, both methods of contact are provided; e-mail address (preferred) and cell phone number. between the hours of 9 and 6 PM weekdays.
SO HERE IS WHAT IT SHOULD LOOK LIKE:
The fact that everyone ( so far ) doesn't like it tells me it's exactly the type of cover letter I needed to write.
Keep in mind, I'm not asking anyone if it's the kind of letter they'd write, but only if it sounds like an obvious description of skill, experience, and in no way distorts the fact that an employer should hire me.
Some of you say it's too wordy. What the hell does that mean? Most people write three or five page cover letters. You want to talk about wordy. Jesus Christ.
I think the basic principle is this, if you can't fit everything you want to say on one page and one page alone, you're going about it the wrong way.
As I said, I need a cover letter that describes my skills, unique talents, and experience in a way that puts it all on the table and leaves nothing out, but written in an efficient way - one page. Sure, I'm familiar with the concept of not wanting to bore an employer, but these are entry level/technical jobs we're talking about, right? Right.
What makes an employer think that they can read everything they ( supposedly ) need to know about an applicant for the job they're offering especially if it's techncial in a mere 2 seconds or less? They're only kidding themselves. Not to mention wasting an applicant's time with another BS. made-up rule that is completely rediculous.
I'm getting the urge to be more combative in this message, so I'll restrain myself and stop the commentary right here.
Thanks for the responses, they were well appreciated. ( I say rolling my eyes. )
A curriculum vitae is a document that focuses on academic achievements. A CV should only be used when specifically requested, i.e. the following instances:
- Applications for admission to graduate or professionals schools;
- Independent consulting;
- Providing info related to professional activities (e.g. applications for professional memberships and leadership positions and presentations at professional conferences);
- Proposals for fellowships or grants; or
- Applications for positions in academia.
xttwo, you obviously wish to be in a high position (i.e. using a CV format) but you don't have the academics or the work history to back it up. An employer can clearly see that and is not missing a thing when he sees your cover letter. If anything, he/she is going to get a big kick out of it.
The reason why you are not getting responses is because, as others said, your letter sounds very pompous. Not to mention when they see your actual work experience and history, it's not even close to being CV material.
"Most people write 3 or 5 page cover letters."
No, most people know that employers want one page cover letters. As long as I have been in business, that's what the criteria has been for cover letters. The cover letter is not the place where you give all of your experience. It should be three short paragraphs at the most: an intro paragraph that catches their attention, a paragraph giving them a highlight or two of your experience and/or mentioning something about their company and how you can benefit them, and the last paragraph giving contact info. That's a cover letter.
Look up cover letters on any job search website or any book on job hunting and you will see the same.
The reason why you are not getting the kind of responses you would like is because, as others said, your letter sounds very pompous. Not to mention when they see your actual work experience and history, it's not even close to being CV material.
( Had to re-edit what you said a little, to fit the discussion accurately. )
Here, let me do you a personal service and republish what I said, the real meat of what I said :
So the end game for me is at the bottom of the cover letter :
Look, you can bet I'm not going to waste my time applying for a job I know I can't do, so be somewhat as intelligent as me in considering everything, not just my weak recent job history which amounts to a mere couple of days, give me a break I've only been off unemployment this year for an assorted 10 days out of the year.
Consider the fact that I can do things with computers, software, you have to at least assume I've owned a computer and have learned a decent amout on how to use it, install something on it, and incorporate that into a work setting.
But hey, if you want to be stupid, fine. I'll see you put your advertisement back in the paper next month, or the week after that, which can only lead me to assume whoever you did hire over me didn't last too long as I expected.
No one writes a cover page of more than one (1) page.
Your current cover letter says nothing except that you have no, read it again - NO relevant WORK experience of any interest.
Your current cover letter does not communicate any UNIQUE skills.
Your current cover letter does not provide any thing of interest other than you are arrogant and full of yourself with nothing of value to offer to an employer.
Your current cover letter does not transition what little bit of skill you might have into something that the client might be interested in (see my version of your letter for an approach to doing this).
Your current cover letter does create any reason for the employer to proceed to your resume.
So there you go. You prove yet again why you are in the position you are in. Broke, unemployed, in debt, and living with mommy.