Career tips : You should have gone farther

Most of my coworkers went to state schools. A lot of them were unemployed for long periods of time before they found their current job. They are the party type. They are also underachievers. When one of my coworkers asked me where I went to school, and heard me say the name of the school I went to, he asked me in surprise: "you went to [the school I went to]"? Then another day I was talking to another coworker and a similar question came up. When he heard the name of the school I went to, he told me "dude, with a degree from [the school I went to], you should have gone farther." He wasn't been sarcastic or anything; he seemed very serious.

How do you guys think I felt when I heard my coworkers say those things?

I graduated from a very respected university in S. California where people think everyone from this university ends up with a $150,000 a year job as soon as you receive your diploma. WRONG!

I have a lot of friends who graduated from my university who are not employed in the field they received their degrees in and some are hopelessly unemployed. It is no ones fault. I have a friend who is living in motels and he graduated from Harvard! So just because you went to a well respected university does not guarantee a great paying job or career.

David- We have been up, down and sideways over your insecurity and issues related to how far you THINK you should be versus where you currently are. How many times are you going to belabor this point? If you want to take a comment like this (assuming there even was one) as some sort of slur, then go ahead. Otherwise, ignore it and move on with your life. And as I've said a hundred times now- see a therapist. Really, they can help you.

Tess

Judging by the comments made by my coworkers, it appears that I am not the only one who THINKS I should have done better. My friends and family also seem disappointed with the way things turned out for me.

If you want to take a comment like this (assuming there even was one) as some sort of slur, then go ahead.

Well, no, because I did not take their comments as slurs. But I did take their comments as painful reminders that I should have done better. My coworkers are good guys. They are not the type who'd ever try to put me down.

Otherwise, ignore it and move on with your life. And as I've said a hundred times now- see a therapist. Really, they can help you.

Actually, I saw a therapist at some point during all those months I was absent from this forum. The issue of my unhappiness and my employment situation obviously came up. She told me the solution to my problem was to find a new job: "It's that easy." With a great deal of pain and frustration, I had to tell her, very slowly and very carefully, about the year I spent unemployed, about the dozens of resumes I mailed out, and about all the failed interviews I went through. My words were of no avail; it's almost like she thought I was exaggerating or making things up. She insisted that finding a job is easy and that I was being too negative. When I heard those words coming out of her mouth, after I explained to her all the #### I've been through, I felt such a strong desire to punch her in the mouth, that maybe it means I'm unbalanced after all.

Who knows more about the job market? The therapist, or the career advisors I have talked to? The therapist, or people like I who have been unemployed for up to a year? The therapist, or the regulars on this forum? The therapist, or tmsmalley?

For some foolish reason, I expected Tess to reply to my last post.

I guess it means I finally shut her up.

David- What are you looking for? Do you want someone to agree that you should have done better? Ok, you should have. You made a series of short-sighted choices through school. That's not news, we've covered all that ground a hundred times. So what? Unless you have a time machine, you have to move forward and learn to make better choices.

Really, David- therapist. If necessary, a new one until you find one that will get you on track. Or the Army. They're very good a focusing people and they're definitely hiring right now. Or the Peace Corps. You could do something for someone else and actually get off this self-absorbed, narcissistic, martyrdom thing that you seem to be stuck on.

Tess

I had a similar thing happen to me the other day. I met a guy that worked at an Immunological research center that I had tried to get a lab tech job with years ago. I told him that and he says "With that degree what the heck are you doing working in a hotel we need so many people?"

Mind you, I can't exactly move my life back to Denver for a job that would pay that little but it sure made me feel small.

Your comment troubles me not so much because it cheapens the reasons I had to not work towards embellishing my resume through school (yes, there are reasons why I made those "short-sighted" choices through school, and I have explained them in the past and even discussed them with you), but because you seem to assume that if I had in fact made the 'right choices' through school, my current situation would have been better. That's not necessarily untrue, but an unimpressive interviewer is just as unimpressive as a resume with nothing listed on it but a decent GPA from a decent school.

I don't regret the choices I made in school as I had my reasons to make those choices. And you need to remember that after I was done with those temp jobs I took last year, I went to quite a few interviews, for jobs where I would have been paid more money than I currently earn, and I infer I made a good impression on some of the interviwers, in spite of everything, since in some occasions I was invited to second and third interviews. In the end, when I called HR to ask why I didn't get the job, I heard more than one time that "you did not seem interested in the job." Maybe a therapist will help me feign interest. Maybe a private career counselor or a career coach will teach me how to ace an interview. Maybe I just need to sign up for a drama class.

My whole situation is just sad. I know people who went to bad schools who ended up with terrible GPAs (sub 3.0) and now they earn more than I earn and seem satisfied with their jobs. It's sad.

The armed forced are not for me. Peace organizations, maybe. But you need to understand, my concern is not so much to end my "self-absorbed, narcissistic martyrdom" but to find a job where I will be rewarded financially and that I love and that I enjoy. Ending my 'martyrdom' would be a step in the right direction, but it's useless unless I actually find a 'better' job.

Career Tips

You should have gone farther