well, i'm 27, earned a BA in Sociology with a Minor in criminology in 2004, I also was lucky to play football at the division 1 level for four years...(didn't go to the NFL)...reality sets in and i took a job my dad suggested working at a local non-profit residential placement with troubled kids working as a youth counselor (2001-2006), in 2006 I decide to work for the state as a youth counselor in the juvenile detention/prison system.  This is still my current job. Working, counseling and helping these kids has been a great experience...but lately I'm feeling burnt out.  Recently I decided to go back to get my M.Ed. in K-12 School Counseling, I have one year left.

Jobs I thought I wanted to do, be a prison guard, police officer, juvenile probation officer....

I've come to the realization that my entire life I've kind of lived through my dad I never went after what I really liked to do, although I excelled at sports and got good grades I never really developed an interest in a certain area. Yes I enjoy helping others...but lately I've been thinking why don't I look into being information technology, physical therapy, marketing, personal trainer and a number of other careers.  The thought of being a school counselor is ok...but for some reason I don't know if its me....I'm spending a lot of money on this degree and Im not sure if it feels right and finding a job is not exactly a sure thing. But I like helping the kids...it feels good. I've read a number of other books and taken assessments and they say i'm a helper, investigator, social, artistic.  I guess I feel like I have a lot of regret...I regret not doing this or doing that and it weighs heavy on my mind. I did 2 years in mechanical engineering but dropped out because sports did not allow me the time to study. I regret this.  I feel like I have an interest in biology, technology, marketing/business...and I just feel like when I'm counseling kids about careers this may be difficult for me. I realize this is a rant...but I have a headache. my mind just keeps going/thinking of the what ifs and the regrets. I realize the only way to stop the regrets is to go out and do it, or join an orginization or volunteer and talk with others. but I feel that feeds into my constant job searching, career choices, etc. I feel like I constantly obsessively job search and talk with others about careers and am constantly trying to anyalyze myself with every little task that I do...such as I think I am artistic because I am drawing this face on the side of my notebook all the time. (wierd I know) when I was a kid i think i had ocd and my g/f is a social worker and says she thinks this may be due to this ocd. I'm just feeling really lost and not myself anymore and it feels like a weight is pushing down on me and I hate my current job so much and want to leave but i need the money. On top of that I dont really have the time...i'm to poor at the moment.  I've talked with career counselors...and they ask what do you want to do with your life....and I can't say...I can't commit to something and own it.  How do I clear through these thoughts...also I'm currently dreading going to work which doesn't help...I think I just need a new situation and goals....any advice would be appreciated...

I find it hard to say I like math or I'm good at math or english cause I'm not sure... but i enjoy and have many strengths. I know when I figure this mess out and have a clear path I will be successful...but until I'm able to commit to something or set some goals I'm lost and obsessed with analyzing...

I feel like I could be in marketing because I often find myself promoting a friends band or a product for no reason but to promote it...so i've thought about sales and marketing...but I wouldn't say I'm a social butterfly...I keep thinkin in my head maybe if I sell or market something I really enjoy I will be successful. but I hate working artound a lot of people all the time...makes my head spin

I've thought of physical therapy because ive gone through this after tearing my acl, its an active job where i can help people and the money is good

ive thought about information technology because im good with computers and I know its going to be a growing field...but its hard to actually picture myself wroking all day on computers....so this is iffy

so i have all these interests but i would need to go back to school and bla bla bla, and i still need to pay my bills...so starting at entry level would be hard...again

ANY ADVICE, IDEAS OR STORIES WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED.....

Hi, I don't know that I can be of a great deal of help here, but will throw a few things out. Your degree and job history to this point sounds very similar to my daughter's significant other. I know he has struggled with it too. He has worked with at risk teens, Headstart, and a few other agencies. To be honest, I was disappointed when he left the position with the at risk teens as he was so good at it and really was able to get through to the teens and to the parents. He really has a gift and there are so many who need his type of help and guidance.

He has struggled with it as he was looking long term and did not want to pigeon hole himself. He found a position at UPS which pays a decent wage and has tuition reimbursement. He knows he wants his Master's and wanted to be in a position for when he is ready to do that, he will have help with the expense. He is using his criminolgy major of his degree (a duo degree) and is working for TSA. Getting hired there was quite an ordeal as he is not in the position of checking carryons and shoes but higher up. His hours at UPS allow him to have this job also. I do not know the entire process of being hired but I know his background check was extensive. I believe he just finished the training portion. I think he is in a bit of your predictament and is trying to determine how best to leverage his education and his experience with his goals. He thought this would be more out of the box in the field of criminology than some other options. But, he has the tuition reimbursement to help when that lightbulb goes on.

You are not alone in pursuing a career to please parents, it happens often and not just with your generation. My father was convinced that I should be a school nurse. That way I could work short hours and then have my summers off with my children. Well, at the age of 17 and in 1969 (with all of the things going on), nursing, having a family, etc was never my dream or even anything I could envision at that age. He would only help with my education costs if I pursued this career path. I decided to do it my way and paid for it myself.  I made a vow to myself when raising my daughter to encourage her in her goals and dreams, not mine. And it worked, her career is all hers.

I would like to send your post to my daughter's significant other and see if he has any recommendations as both of your circumstances are similar and he is probably closer to your age and he may have some insight. I know he was looking at working for Outward Bound and those types of programs as he loves camping and outdoors and believes that these programs bring out strengths and opportunities in kids who may never have explored or known any of this. There are also wonderful programs allowing children to work with animals and to learn respect and responsibility, I do not recall the names of them though.

One thing I will tell you. The grown up fairy never comes to us and hits us with a magic wand and  PRESTO we are all grown up! We all have to learn it our own way, some take longer than others though. I have worked with 60 year old men who act like pouty little boys a lot of the time. You have degrees that could be easily leveraged into another career path, but I am sorry, you will need to figure that path out as it is important for you to take ownership of your life. Taking other's advice can get you right back to your realization of living through your dad. I have to wonder why you decided to pursue your masters in a specific field without fully knowing that is what you wish to do. But, you made the decision, have followed that course and do owe it to yourself to try it. Just know that as a school counselor, you will be in a position to help guide others in the right choice of school and career field. It probably would be helpful to have it defined within yourself in order to provide guidance.

Good luck to you and if I get insight from my friend, I will reply to you.

Your credentials are impressive and you definitely have job experience going for you. Perhaps management would be to your liking. Or, if as you say, Engineering is a field your enjoyed but did not have time for, why not talk to someone in the engineering field or maybe take a night class to banish the blues away. Connect with those in the field of your choice for ideas on how to pursue that interest. I think everyone can relate to being on a job that they have tired of but felt they couldn't leave because they needed that income. Isn't that how we get stuck and our passion gets sucked away?
   I think you at a turning point in your career choice and that's a good thing. Gone are the days when our parents stayed on a job for 40+ years till retirement. Now, the job market is such that those who propel their careers forward adapt to learning new skills and interests. My dad was a carpenter by trade before he became a high school English teacher for 40 years for a living. He and my mom raised 9 kids and he built many houses, including a lovely beach home with the help of us kids. As he collected paychecks from teaching, he put aside money for investment in real estate, telling all of us kids that "you'll never get rich from working wages, but from investing in real estate". In his retirement he still built rock walls (even after hip replacement surgery and doctors orders not to do strenuous physical labor). He didn't listen and said he planned to use up every little bit of his energy and body doing what he loved. He was worth $2M before his passing. There is no shame in switching gears and going another direction. Anthony Robbins, the famous author, talks about following your passion in life and once you find what that is, the riches will come. I can't imagine anything more frustrating than working at a job that no longer holds our interest. In reality, there's more to a job than the money factor. 

There are 2 really great replies above, so I am just going to add one point.

It isn't an answer, but rather a "distinction" that might help once you get a step further down the path.

I hear your ideas as absolutes. This field or that field.

I want you to think about ways to meld or merge fields, and ways to get exposure to new fields.

The Job is one component.

The organization is another component.
- Profit, Not for Profit, Government ...
- Micro-sized, Small, Medium, Large...
- Pace of Growth / Change
- Current state of organization (Every job exists at a point in the organization's evolution)

The sector / industry can be another variable

And in many cases, within that industry, the market is another.

• A lot of not for profits have marketing people.
• There are for-profit organizations that are focused on the youth market, but have a social conscious.
• There are product and services businesses focused on the law enforcement market, and they need various kinds of people
• Every organization needs management in some form
• There are organizations serving the education market

And if you were to get yourself into one of these organizations, undoubtedly, with performance and leaarning you could work your way into an interesting career path.

My point is that you don't have to think absolutes.

And as for these other traits - you can find ways to use and honor them, without making them full-time careers. It turns out after all these years, that I have a bit of a design flair - which I enjoy, so I use it in terms of developing my site, and client materials and presentations. Its fun, but I know that I am not a professional, or nearly good enough.

If this sparks any follow-up questions, let me know.

Ian Christie
Career Changers Coach

Here's the thing.   When you're generally good at a lot of things but not spectacular at any one thing, it can be hard to pinpoint THE THING that you should be doing.  You don't have to do EVERYTHING that you're good at.  Nor does your day job have to hit every aspect of your skills or interests.

I think you seriously need to sit down with a life coach type therapist.  Ask your doctor for a referral or check your phone book.  Not a school career counselor in your case, but someone who can really look at the whole package of what you've done, where you're headed, why you've made the choices you've made, how to make the choices you want, your big pile of regrets, etc.  It would have been better to do this before you got half way through the Masters, but do it now before you go any further.  You need to figure out where you're heading and be sure about it so that when you get there, you're happy with it and not looking for something else.  I agree with your girlfriend that you may have OCD.  Not because you keep drawing the same doodle, but because you're obsessing over finding the right job to the point that you're so unhappy.  It may be something else, but a good therapist can sort that out for you and then (here's the greatest part) correct it! 

I think once you sort yourself out, the career thing will become clear and easy.  There are a number of related fields that are less draining than youth counselor in the juvenile prison system and would reach your strengths.  Things like high school sports coach come to mind to hit your interest in sports and kids.  But if not that, there are lots of other choices that won't involve a total starting over in another long run of schooling.  Get your head straight first, the rest will come.

All the best!

Tess

Well I just wanted to say I appreciate all the responses...its good to hear from other people about their stories and ideas. I've decided to take a break and not even look at jobs anymore and start to focus more on my life and day to day activities. In one of my classes I learrned about the Tao and one of the major points that keeps ringing in my head is "when one stops searching for the answer it will come." I looked up the life coach but I dont have any insurance and can't afford this although I think it would be helpful.

I think one of my major points which I may not have clearly stated about this whole confusion of careers is that yes I have an interest in sports and I think I enjoy working with children.  But while I was so involved with sports throughout my career I never developed an interest in any specific area such as biology or marketing or math. Also another thing that holds me back when I think of these types of careers is the way I have socially constructed them in my head.  I've sterotyped these careers negatively which I think prevents me from wanting to pursue them. Careers such as police officer, prison guard, seem like careers one can look back on their life and feel good about what they did.  A career as a marketing agent, sales rep seem so shallow and fake to me. 

Another major point which may seem kinda crazy is that in all my years of playing sports and all that I was taught you can do anything you put your mind too...so I apply this logic to careers.  I feel as though if I put my mind to something such as lets say becoming a physical therapist I can do it! No matter what career, so I think thats why I have such a hard time deciding which one because I tell myself I can do whatever career I want when in fact I may actually have natural abilities in being a carpenter and I"m missing that......does anyone else ever have this feeling.?

So I guess I need a career that when I look back on my life I can say yeah I did something good for society...."but i was also able to pull in some money...and enjoy my life." 

I guess what I need to really pound into my head is that a career is not absolute and people change careers all the time. So I should stop regretting and start living and enjoy the journey. 

That is right, Happy Trails!

Call your local county mental health center for a referral.  They'll be free or sliding scale.  Any good therapist can get you started and see if OCD is the issue or if it is something else.

All the best!

Tess