Should I Stay or Should I Go
I really need some advise. I am currently in an office job and I hate it. It's in advertising and I'm constantly under stress, I have insomnia and I dread going to work every day. I've been thinking about quitting for months, but I don't know how wise that is. I have bills to pay after all. I want to pursue my passion, music, but I'm worried. How can I pay my bills and pursue my passion at the same time? I'm looking into some classes to gain new skills, but I'm so unhappy with my situation NOW, I feel I can't take another day of it. What should I do: stay and bear it, or leave?
Hi Swirleez As a boss I would be mortified if one of my team felt they could not come to me with any problems. I have a great team of people that always give 110% (well minus 1 individual) and so when they have problems I go out of my way to be supportive and accommodating to what they need to resolve the issues. If one of my team came to me with the issues you are experiencing, I would take you for a coffee somewhere non work related, get to the bottom of the issues, work out a plan in which we could alleviate some of the stress and work load for an agreed period of time, (which your colleagues would need to take up the slack, but its a team so thats how we work) to give you some breathing space and even look at giving you something new to do, if we had that option, then I would probably send you home for a week, paid, in addition to your normal holiday. Staff health and wellbeing is not high enough on employers lists these days and having been on the receiving end of an unsympathetic boss, I am there for my team 110%. Can you approach your boss and discuss in a non work environment how you feel, what the issues are or do you have a personnel department that you could go to and talk. I would certainly not recommend just quitting as you are then going to add even more stress and strain to an already difficult situation especially when the bills start coming in and you cant pay them, plus when you are feeling this way, decisions made are not rational, they are emotional and not usually the best ones made. Can you take holiday and spend a week, talking to yourself or anyone else rationally about changing your frame of mind to at least recognise, ok its not the ideal job for me, I really dont care for it much anymore but, until I get another job I am here and I have a job to do so either I can spend everyday being tired, unhappy and sick or I can get up go to work, do my job and make a real push and get those cv's out there, check the agencies and the papers and motivate myself to get another job and feel better about myself. I have been here before and you can let the job drag you down, make you sick until you make the wrong choice or you can can get up, dust yourself off and go get that ideal job and be in the right frame of mind to sell yourself at that interview. Good luck
If finances are a concern, then you need to figure out how to find some satisfaction from work, WHILE engineering a change. Think about changes in two levels... The big change is what you really want to do, which doesn't sound defined yet. The gap between here and there can seem large for a lot of people, and insurmountable. (It isn't, but it is there.) The other kind of change is incremental. Small step. Something better than now. Something that gets you closer to the above. What about thinking about that and possibly taking some action. Very commonly, people go from job pain to emergency jump without a lot of thought and preparation, and find themselves soon after, back in crisis mode again. What kind of jump could you make that is doable and better? Ian Christie Career Changers Coach
I know perfectly well what I want to do in music, be a performer, and I'm taking steps in that direction. I'm making a demo right now, and am looking into getting gigs. I'm not unsure about that. My concern is finding work that doesn't leave me so stressed and exhausted I can't give time to music. I'm looking into proofreading as a possible option, but that takes some study to learn the process. In the meantime I'm still dealing with my current situation. That's my dilemma.
NorthStowe, Thank you for your words of support. I really appreciate it. I agree staff health is not high enough on employers' lists. I don't know if its possible to go out to coffee with my boss as she's out of the office a lot, or in meetings. It may be a week before I can get in to see her. My ideal job is not an office job at all, its performing. So I would love to find something that pays, but allows me time to perform/audition. I'm trying to find things that fit that. Time off is tough with so many responsibilities on my plate. We're in a heavy deadline period now. Maybe in two to three weeks. Thanks! If I went to my boss and complained about the stress, she would laugh and tell me if I didn't like it to find somewhere else to work. Employee health or job satisfaction isn't an issue where I work, which explains the high turnover. You have bills to pay. That is your first priority. Your passion can be your hobby until you get it up to speed where you are getting enough gigs to support yourself, which could take years. For every successful entertainer there are thousands of wannabes who did not find the success that they dreamed about. So you need to do a reality check. If you are honest with yourself and you really believe that you are good enough to succeed in the music industry then work at it slowly and consistently in your spare time. Don't use the excuse that your "job" tires you out so much that you can't chase your passion. If it is something that you really enjoy you can do it no matter how "tired" you are. One last note, once your passion becomes your job I hope you will still be able to enjoy it as much. Few of us are lucky enough to have a job that we truly enjoy. LolaRN, I'm sorry you've had some bitter experiences. I read in a career book I just picked up that people underestimate how much job satisfaction contributes to overall health and well-being. And given that my job takes up a lot of my spare time, I believe it. I'm not using my job as an excuse at all. If I were, I wouldn't be making a demo after work and taking a proofreading course on weekends. | |
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