Ok... HELP!
I'm having one heck of a time finding work back in the tech industry. 
I currently hold an MCP from days of 2000.  I've been working for Kaiser
for the past 2 years and really want to break into the tech industry again.
This time, doing something other than phone tech support.
I've worked for Seagate and Acer America in the past doing just that, and they
were good jobs.  But now I want to get into something more hands on.
 
I come from a strong computer background with absolutely no bias towards one
computer system vs another.  I started out on a self-built Sinclair, Moved on to
a Vic-20, then to Atari, C-64, Apple ][, XT, 286, 386.....  You get the picture.

The things that have been rattling around in my head are:
1. Are technical certifications going to help someone who has
    been out of any sort of tech job at all without practical experience?

2. What certifications would be best?  I can learn anything.  That's never been
    and issue and it ALL interests me.  But I'd like to maximize my time.  I do
    have other things going on in my life that require work! haha!  Honey-Do's
    do take a bit of time!  I've been pondering anything from Cisco certs, to Apple
     certs, Microsoft, general certs like the network+, security+, Linux+ and the like.

Apple and Linux certifications appeals to me from the side of being off the beaten path.
Seems that everyone has an MCSE or MCSA of sometype.  Linux and Apple certification
in hardware and software really calls to me.  But would I be able to find a job quick and
make a good living off of these? 

I'd really appreciate some advice from some experienced folks! 

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and Happy New Year!

Brian M. Wamsley